More a mindless babble than a well thought out post but stick with me here…
- Falling as close as I have to love in quite some time with a boy I’d met all of two days
- Tugging between awe for a city that is mostly beautiful and embodies the charm that capital cities do, that allow you to get lost in them in the most romantic of ways, whilst feeling absolutely erratic because of its trappings for that very sometimes sterile reason
- The continual career crisis
- Dramatics of the dating soc. with a questioning of bisexualism curveball thrown in for good measure
- The return of the perpetually ridiculous OCD which somehow allows an otherwise level headed soul to be convinced the lack of symmetry in her/my touch will no doubt lead to the wiping out of a family of 5
These are but a few of the trials of those uncertain twenties, more than a couple of which I am not alone in and share with friends who too are now finding themselves armed with a self help guide or three.
Amongst the hysteria driven tears and laughs coupled with the pining and thankfulness for living and feeling once more, I wish I had just one constant to rely on throughout. With this I expect the excitement and angst of both these dreamy and darned twenties would be far easier to embrace than to so often feel defeated by.
Can you tell I’ve started on the life coaching books?
So it turns out I hadn’t deleted all trace of that Kiwi, probably a sneaky subconscious move on my part. Subconscious? Unconscious? Anyway, MY SKYPE! Of course I couldn’t help but take a look, as I love to dwell and mourn nice things. And guess what? The entire thing made me laugh, our conversations had the great workings of a tragic romantic novel, tragic being the operative word here. He WAS all “I want you, I need you, I’m moving” from the onset. Having had a little snoop on his blog about his choons it seems he’s fallen just as madly, deeply for this new bird, all over the course of days again. Probably down to his artistic nature intrinsically making him feel so much more intensely than us regular folk. I conclude, he’s 1. fickle 2. far more lost than he claims 3. I’m so glad to be back in the real world, with real people and not spending every waking minute on him.
I still standby my no regrets mantra, because I have none.
Now a gif for you all that epitomises that time in my life. I bid you and it, adieu! Ah 🙂
5 rules for me and me alone
1. Listen to music again, REALLY listen to it.
2. Take off the rose tinted glasses when looking back. Remind self that every single encounter builds on who I am. This should avert any attempts to leap into my ever enchanting well of gloom.
3. Find at least one thing I’m thankful for, everyday. Today I’m going for my Dads encyclopaedic memory, it’s very helpful in deciphering current affairs. Today we discussed the Ukraine. I am also very happy about that delicious peanut butter cup milkshake I devoured earlier.
4. I will stop adding a negative to counteract every positive, it’s as if I’m incapable of using one without the other. It’s stupid and demoralising without reason. So I’m cutting back as of now.
5. Smile at one stranger a day, smug face and vicious smiley scowls may not be included however will not be omitted from my life. As my scowly and cocky nature shapes my very being.