More a mindless babble than a well thought out post but stick with me here…
- Falling as close as I have to love in quite some time with a boy I’d met all of two days
- Tugging between awe for a city that is mostly beautiful and embodies the charm that capital cities do, that allow you to get lost in them in the most romantic of ways, whilst feeling absolutely erratic because of its trappings for that very sometimes sterile reason
- The continual career crisis
- Dramatics of the dating soc. with a questioning of bisexualism curveball thrown in for good measure
- The return of the perpetually ridiculous OCD which somehow allows an otherwise level headed soul to be convinced the lack of symmetry in her/my touch will no doubt lead to the wiping out of a family of 5
These are but a few of the trials of those uncertain twenties, more than a couple of which I am not alone in and share with friends who too are now finding themselves armed with a self help guide or three.
Amongst the hysteria driven tears and laughs coupled with the pining and thankfulness for living and feeling once more, I wish I had just one constant to rely on throughout. With this I expect the excitement and angst of both these dreamy and darned twenties would be far easier to embrace than to so often feel defeated by.
As a symbol of my sheer dedication to my newest infatuation I hereby vow to never stop eating until he finally realises how great I am and asks me out on a third date.
It’s been 2 weeks. I’m still hopeful.
5 rules for me and me alone
1. Listen to music again, REALLY listen to it.
2. Take off the rose tinted glasses when looking back. Remind self that every single encounter builds on who I am. This should avert any attempts to leap into my ever enchanting well of gloom.
3. Find at least one thing I’m thankful for, everyday. Today I’m going for my Dads encyclopaedic memory, it’s very helpful in deciphering current affairs. Today we discussed the Ukraine. I am also very happy about that delicious peanut butter cup milkshake I devoured earlier.
4. I will stop adding a negative to counteract every positive, it’s as if I’m incapable of using one without the other. It’s stupid and demoralising without reason. So I’m cutting back as of now.
5. Smile at one stranger a day, smug face and vicious smiley scowls may not be included however will not be omitted from my life. As my scowly and cocky nature shapes my very being.
“Hey you! YES YOU. Are you dithering on a date and looking for ways to entertain yourself? Bring up the notion of freezing your eggs, a foolproof way to a priceless face.”
Yes, yes it happened. No I would not take it back if I could.
I’ve gained 12 pounds.
Most of my bessies are now scattered over the UK or majorly depressed
EVERYBODY’S engaged and Miss Bridget Jones over here is realising she isn’t quite the independent lady she’s claimed all these years!
On the plus side, I’ve landed myself a contract working in Marketing at a local Theatre. In fact I met Caroline O’ Connor just this week (self-confessed Moulin Rouge obsessive). The downside, this theatre is ‘local’ to my hometown, aka the hole I call home.
I’d do good in remembering the chances are, never again will I work in a role where I can sneak into a show whenever I’ve a free second to myself, and those minutes in the day where I’m able to let go and become completely immersed in a beautiful piece of dance or a jazz handed musical make the sometimes incredibly errm let’s say challenging side of the role completely and utterly worth it.
^^ On repeat on the pod this week